Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
