Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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