I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
