8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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