So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
