Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
