it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
