Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
