her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
