Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But theres a keg here and me gusta
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
