she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
