If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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