Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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