I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just cut my nipple shaving
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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