I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
