Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
