PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
