well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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