I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
