I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
