this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
