1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
how does that bad decision feel?
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