My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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