We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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