Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
