I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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