hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
