dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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