yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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