just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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