erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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