Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
