i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
