Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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