Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
