drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
