i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wear drunk well.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
