I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
