did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
