Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
