break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
