this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
