Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You made out with two different species that night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
