If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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