you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
