Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
