Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
