I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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