What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
