Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
