Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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