Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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